1. How do I remove the silly "display 4 per page" and just display all, all the time.
Go to the category settings like the one here http://admin-demo.nopcommerce.com/Admin/Category/Edit/29. give a really large number in the SEO tab in Page Size options (comma separated):
This is easiest way to achieve this without modifying the code. But I would not suggest doing this as it would make your website slow and piss off the customers.